All-American Loaded Burgers

If your idea of "All-American Burgers" is one that sets the grill on fire and has the men in your life very frustrated, this might be the recipe for you...we had our friends the Potters over for lunch after church yesterday and Steve wanted to grill. This recipe was in the latest Simple & Delicious (May/June 2009) so I decided to make them. Usually I just mix hamburger with Lipton onion soup mix when we are grilling, but I thought this would be a good one to try, and the picture looked so yummy. So...

All-American Loaded Burgers
1 cup dry bread crumbs
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1/2 cup italian salad dressing
2 eggs, beaten
2 lbs ground beef
6 kaiser rolls, split

In a large bowl, combine the bread crumbs, onion, salad dressing, and eggs. Crumble beef over mixture in bowl and mix well. Shape into 6 patties. Grill burgers (here's where it started to go to pot), covered, over medium heat or broil 4 inches from the heat for 5-7 minutes on each side or until meat thermometer reads 160 and juices run clear. Serve on rolls with whatever toppings you want (we had the usual toppings plus those yummy french fried onions. Karen and I ate half of them before the men even came in with the "burgers"). 6 servings

Okay so Steve wanted me to make these burgers thin and big, so that when they cooked and shrank they wouldn't be too fat in the middle. So I did that and ended up with 8 burgers. He took them outside. I don't know what he did here but he came back in 5 minutes later and said "we had a big fail." Apparently they fell apart. They tried to put the remaining pieces into 4 bigger burgers. We thought, okay, we have enough stuff (tater tots, pasta salad, potato salad, chips) that it's okay if every adult gets one burger and the kids just have hot dogs. So they went back outside. At this point there was apparently some kind of fire wherein Steve lost most of the hair on his left forearm and Patrick got holes in his jacket. At this point he came back in and said that there was no fat in these burgers and they are just burning up. I referred him to the salad dressing and eggs in this recipe. He was like, well whatever they are just burning (good thing we had company or it may have come to fisticuffs. Hee hee). At this point Karen and I began making chicken patties in the oven to replace the burgers. We were still in good spirits. 5 more minutes later and he brought in the plate of yummy looking grilled hot dogs, and pitiful looking pieces of burger. Patrick, Karen, and Steve all tried some. They had their buns, and put like 3 to 4 pieces of burger on each bun. I bet the men just wanted to eat that which had caused them so much trouble. They would not let it get the best of them. Karen thought the picture looked good too and she wanted to try them. I abstained. Those that ate them said they were good, but I think it goes without saying that we are not having these again. Steve, trying to be diplomatic, was all "let's stop experimenting with burger recipes and just do hamburger next time." Fine, but that is not what he is paying me for. I like to try different burger recipes and make sure we are getting the best one. This was apparently not it. Additonally, last night at church I was explaining what happened to our friends B Autumn and B Rad, and B Rad suggested that, after you make the patties, you refrigerate them for a little while so they can firm up. This might be a good idea. You can try it if you want, I know we won't be doing this one again.